Helen and the Fabled Kitchen Abs

Let's see, where to begin? Yesterday I had noble aspirations to work 9 hours, bang out some homework, and then hit the 6:30 pm CrossFit session. 

That didn't happen. 

I instead worked 9 hours and then proceeded to work on a really magnificent presentation for school (my Master's) and it was 9 pm before I left my office! I felt pretty guilty about breaking my promise to go to the gym after work, so I think that is what got me out of bed this morning. 

(I also wore my workout clothes as PJs, so all I had to do was brush my teeth this morning at 5 am.) 

Anyway, today's workout, which was my first real session at CrossFit was "Helen". Here's what we did:

Self-portrait of my workout this morning. Arm muscles are to scale. 

Warm Up:

-50 Mountain Climbers

-20 Burpees

-10 Ring Pull Ups

-1 Minute Battle Rope

-40 Sit Ups

-20 Squats

-10 Push Ups

Skills:

Hanging L-Sit for as long as you can. x5

WOD:

"Helen" x 3

-400 Meter Run (Or 500 Meter Row)

-21 Kettlebell Swings 

-12 Pull Ups

My WOD time was an astonishing 17:36. I am looking forward to seeing some improvement, haha. Overall, I felt really good about the workout, and I can already tell where I'm going to be getting some calluses.

One thing that's kinda picking at me today is that while I feel good about this morning's workout, I am feeling acutely UN-fit today. I know I will get better, and I'm not discouraged, it's just that I seem to be noticing how my belly is hanging over the top of my slacks a little more than I usually do.  This may have something to do with the way I annihilated some toast and a yellow sweet pepper with hummus immediately after my workout. Somehow I think that was probably not the optimum post-workout meal. 

That got me to thinking, they say that abs are made in the kitchen. I want to know which kitchen that is and what exactly they stock it with. I'm extremely poor (Yay graduate school!) and so my healthy meals consist of the cheapest veggies in the store and eggs and bread. It's not great, I know. I rarely buy meat either, but that's because I'm a terrible cook and it seems a waste of good meat when I burn it into shoe leather. 

Last week though, I was good and made myself some cabbage soup... I made a ton of it, so I was eating it all week, but fortunately, the recipe I have is not only nutritious, but also delicious. It is from a cookbook entitled, The Natural Healing Cookbook by Mark Bricklin and Sharon Claessens. All of the recipes are super healthy in that there's not processed sugar and a bunch of salt. Often, they leave flavor out as well, haha, but my spice rack is able to combat this. 

I added a nice ham shank to the recipe and it is always divine.

A Brand New Start, A Brand New Love

I loved CrossFit last night. I know it was only the introduction, and that it didn't really count as the whole experience, but I loved it. 

The man who owns the gym is super nice and helped me see all sorts of ways that I can improve my form and technique for basic movements. I feel like I've learned a lot already, and I've barely even started! I love the gym (box) and the people in the class that was finishing when I showed up smiled at me as they left.

I felt good at the workout, I felt like a good person as I introduced myself to the other beginners. The coach told me that he's looking forward to having me in class because I'm so optimistic and willing to learn. (Clearly, he was trying to make a sale of a membership, but I thought he was genuine nonetheless.) 

I didn't feel like a depressed person while I was there working out. I just felt like a person, and I felt good when I was using my body instead of just laying on the floor. 

Of course, going home alone to my cold apartment and nibbling some beans and rice with most of the lights off before heading to bed was not the most fulfilling evening, so perhaps I need to concentrate on holding onto that good feeling after the workout. So I am lonely, so what? No reason go lament the end of my evening when for all intents and purposes, it was very successful. Screw you, sadness! I'm going to get through this, even if you are insidious. 

That brings me to the astonishingly simple Reason Number 4: To not feel depressed. 

Artist's rendering of me when I'm feeling "Precious".

CrossFit: The Story of a Girl Who Died From Too Many Snatches

         THE TIME HAS COME!!!!!

Tonight is the first night of CrossFit! The first time you go to the box, they apparently pair you with a coach one-on-one who will assess your fitness and start teaching you proper technique. I managed to get myself a Groupon for an unlimited month at this place, so I am pretty excited to make the most of it.

I'm nervous though. I'm not what anyone would call 'fit' and with my jaw and lousy legs etc, I sometimes have trouble with high-impact activities. I'll do my best though!

Since I was so nervous about doing this, I asked my gym buddy to go with me for the first free workout. I wish he weren't so fit and adorable. I find myself alternating between looking forward to the workout with him (it is always fun when we go to the gym together, much preferred to working out alone) and wanting to hit him with my car for being an insufferable male. 

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Current Trend in my Fitness

That does it for current events. Now I want to talk about the past few nights. I've noticed that my apartment is looking kinda run-down again and that my body feels sluggish and clumsy. Yesterday at work, everything anyone said upset me and I sat in my cubicle all afternoon wanting to punch a cherub every single time one of my coworkers said something predictable. 

What all of this means is that I'm going into a down cycle again. Being cyclical in nature, these cycles come around rather regularly, and sadly, I usually spend several days to several weeks feeling rather blue. When I start feeling better, that's usually when my home is clean and I am working out and cooking wholesome foods. This time around I need to do myself a favor and try some preventative medicine. 

The Goal (Color Run, July 2012)

Instead of seeing the positive changes in my life once I naturally start feeling better again, I need to be more proactive about the whole thing--that's where this blog and my personal fitness comes into play. I need to somehow make myself keep working out and taking care of myself and putting effort into my schoolwork and my job as a technique to stave off the depressed cycle. 

That's the hardest part. Finding the motivation to get out of bed, get off the floor. It's so easy to just fade away for 12 or 14 hours. So tempting to just drink a bottle of wine instead of do that awful, horrible plyometrics DVD. 

Today's Reason to workout: To burn through my character flaws, so only the good parts of me remain. 

Weekend Update! (Not as cool as the show.)

Biggest thing on my mind this morning is that I must be more stressed out than I thought, because my busted POS jaw is telling me that I'm a fool for thinking I can chew toast. Toast!?! Come on. 

You see, I'm blessed with some rather uncomfortable jaw problems, and it causes me a great deal of pain almost constantly. The dentist tells me that I just need to wear my mouth guard when I sleep and everything will be fine. That's baloney. I've been wearing the darned thing every night for 3 years and my jaw has only gotten worse. Especially during times of stress... hello grad school!

Sadface.

But I digress.

I don't get to a computer very often on the weekends, but I didn't lose my desire to keep up with the blog--which is good, since I've only just begun. 

Anyway, Friday night I did a REALLY quick workout, which consisted of reading Game of Thrones on my stationary bike for 20 minutes before I got cleaned up to go out. My cousin's wife invited me to dinner at a fancy sushi restaurant, so I didn't end up spending the evening alone the way I had anticipated. The food was so good and the wait was so very long that by the time we were finished, I begged off to go home and sleep instead of dancing. While this was exactly the opposite of what I had planned on doing in terms of dancing myself fit on Friday, at least I was hanging out with CrossFit people and got to hear all kinds of stories! 

Saturday and Sunday weren't really all that good in terms of me meeting my personal goals, however. Saturday I laid around most the day and made a token cleaning effort. I didn't find the wherewithal to workout and the evening ended with me getting all cute to go hang with my friends... and them deciding they wanted to stay in for the evening and telling me that I should just 'go have fun'. 

#BestFriendsForever

Sunday was more of the same, with the exception of me cooking up a bunch of 'veggie burgers' for my potluck at work today. Also, I drank a bottle of cherry wine. I attempted homework at one point too, but sadly, I made the attempt AFTER the wine. Needless to say, my Kenpo workout probably would have been disastrous at that point as well. There we have another excuse.

I guess overall, the theme of the weekend was that I let myself get discouraged and in turn let that feeling ruin the rest of my weekend. I shouldn't have let not seeing my friends ruin my Saturday night, but I did. I shouldn't have let the guilt of not finishing homework or housework or workouts make me feel like I couldn't do anything but sleep and drink on Sunday, but I did. This is the cycle I need to break. With that in mind, I got my sorry butt out of bed this morning and dragged it to the office. I didn't do a pre-work workout *Shudder*, but I got here early and like those old Nutri-Grain commercials, I have to think, "If I start the day off by not letting myself down, I'm already on the right track." If I'd slept in till 7, I'd have probably felt like a failure... first thing in the morning. What's the sense in that?  

Please Note: As a novice blogger, I've done a bit of research about the legality of using YouTube content on my blog. I am not really sure if it's acceptable for me to use this particular video. If anyone has any input on the matter, please let me know. If I am in the wrong, I will remove the content at once. Thanks

Dancing counts as fitness, right?

Today, I would like to talk about excuses. It's Friday  night and I live in the big city. Why am I planning on sitting at home with Game of Thrones tonight instead of going on a date? Well, because no one has asked me out. I know that it's because I spend my nights sitting at home and not meeting new people, but it's SUPREMELY difficult to get me to go out, especially alone.

My best friend likes to point out that I'm full of excuses for why I can't go out alone. The creepers would hit on me or conversely, no one at all will talk to me. I'll get cute and waste a bunch of money and still feel isolated sitting alone at a restaurant for dinner. I'll be awkward and uncomfortable. I can't drink when I'm driving myself. I hate people. I am too nice to people, etc. 

Last night I got so caught up in my book that I didn't work out. (Another excuse, but seriously, it's a darned good book.)So part of me is sitting in the back of my mind taunting, "Why should you get to go out and have fun? You didn't do what you were supposed to do this week. Stay here and crush your soul with the help of P90x."

And cue my new "Screw that" attitude. Dancing is totally a workout, especially in heels. I always feel like I've busted my thighs and bum after going dancing all night. Not to mention, I'm a little sick of my excuses.  Why should I have to sit home alone with that "Friday night and no place to go" feeling just because no one has invited me to go out and play with them? Why can't I just get up and go myself? 

So I asked around the people at my office this afternoon and made a plan. I'll go home and work out, and get cleaned up. I'll take myself to my favorite sushi joint and then stop by a hole-in-the-wall that Coworker A likes and have a drink or two. I'll do my best to smile and be sociable, and By Golly, I am going to come home feeling like a functional human being. Maybe I'll even swing by my favorite dance club, despite the fact that my crush will not be there to dance with me. 

Maybe if I make myself feel good enough tonight, I'll still be riding that high tomorrow and will feel more like pounding out a workout or cooking veggie stew. We'll see. 

Reason Number 2 for working out is that Nothing feels as sweet as going to bed knowing you accomplished something you set out to do... especially if it took ALL your willpower. 

Did I want to touch the snake? No. Glad I did? Yes. July 3, 2012, Magnetic Island, QLD, Australia

It's time to get off the floor.

First impressions are important, so I may be taking a risk when I begin my blog with the phrase "Depression is a hellofa drug."

As anyone who has ever been depressed is sure to know, there are times when the downward spiral gets addictive, when there's nothing you can do or say to convince yourself that yes, it's time to stop crying and to get your buns off the floor and into the shower for goodness' sake.  There are times when your friends and family just seem to say, "Screw this" because you refuse to take any of their advice or make a single step towards your own recovery. It's not that you're enjoying the sadness, but you just can't seem to let it go. 

That's where I was. Most of the past few years have seen me wanting happiness more than anything, but clinging to being miserable all the same. I'd make deals with myself to live better and be happy and be in the moment and do the right things and to be kind and gracious and strong... and then I'd break my promises to myself, which made everything worse. I truly believed that I'll always let myself down and am incapable of following through on anything, let alone the quest for contentment. 

Then things just sorta changed. I started thinking that maybe I could do the things I put my mind to, and that I wouldn't necessarily fail simply because I have flaws. What a revelation! I never tried to do so many things because I always thought I was incapable. I was born with a birth defect and therefor my legs don't work quite the way they should, and I thought that's the reason I don't run. Total BS. Limited ankle flexibility does not in any way, shape, or form prevent me from running, and my legs are perfectly fine. It was just my head holding me back, again. 

I'm sure I'll delve more into the sadness in later posts, but I just wanted to give an overview here. This blog is yet another deal I've made with myself. I like to think that I'll not break the promise this time, and will keep writing about my journey from a twenty-something depressed lump to a twenty-something fit person. Maybe I'll find some happiness along the way! 

Post-workout, Biceps 9/6/12

As it is, I worked out twice this week. That's not a lot, but it was more than I could have done. I feel the delicious ache in my muscles and I remember grinning as I lay sweating profusely on the disgusting floor of the gym on Monday. That leads me to Reason Number 1 for choosing to go get what I want (Fitness and Happiness, to those of you who weren't listening): To feel sore of body, while feeling glad of mind.