It's been a while since I checked in thanks to some interesting internet snafus at my office. We had no access for much of Friday, and only limited DSL the rest of Friday and part of yesterday. I didn't feel right hogging some of our bandwidth even to post, so I am afraid I don't remember much of Friday's workout aside from the WOD:
5 Rounds for Time
5 Power Clean (52lb)
10 Front Squat (52lb)
5 Push Jerk (I did more Power Cleans, 52lbs)
20 Pull Ups
I'm not super sure what my time was, but I'm guessing it was 22:27. That seems familiar.
My arms were super sore all weekend after all the beating they took last week, but I was glad I made it into CrossFit. I almost didn't make it on Friday except for my extreme anal retentiveness about paying dues on time!
I was so enthused about Friday that as I was talking to my favorite fitness inspiration/buddy, "I", we decided to meet up for an evening session this week and do some extra work. He pretty much stays late after CrossFit every evening and works on Muscle Ups or other things. I reckon he's going to have a good shot at the games before he's 30, if he stays this dedicated. When I asked him, he said he's noticed definite improvements in his flexibility since beginning at the box in October or November. He was already in quite good shape before, but I think I can see some changes physically as well. Probably because I lay eyes on him so rarely, but I've noticed his movements seem more powerful, yet efficient, and he just looks less puffy and more chiseled. I'm hoping the same will be said about me someday!
At any rate, last night after work I headed over to the box and was greeted by an enthusiastic Coach H yelling across the room, "! What are you doing here?!" because apparently, I wasn't the only morning person who changed things up and came in the evening. In fact, "C", a regular (and really nice and very inspiring lady) in the 6 AM class was shadowing the 5:30 PM to work on her CF trainer credentials, I guess. It was nice to see the familiar faces, since last time I went in the evening I didn't know anyone!
Here's what we did:
Warm Up:
250 M Row
15 PVC Push Press
10 Squats
2 Lengths Sled Push
Skill:
Power Clean/Push Jerk/Split Jerk
WOD 1:
"Grace"
-30 Clean & Jerks (I did Power Cleans, 52lb) for time
I went ahead and did Grace twice. First Time: 2:42, Second Time: 3:00. (#BeastMode? I think my arms are about to be very sore again.)
WOD 2:
10 Minutes
Every Minute On The Minute
-5 Burpees
-20 Double Unders or 80 Single Unders
After everything was finished and all the equipment put away, "I" and I set out to do our independent work. He suggested showing me how to do Double Unders since I've not managed to get another since that first day a few weeks ago. Since, of course, he's amazing at them (his ability to be good at everything is both inspiring and highly bothersome, as I'll discuss later.) I hadn't realized how much thought and control goes into jumping rope, and I certainly never realized (or felt-- Ouch!) how the exercise is meant to comprehensively work the shoulders. With his tutelage, hopefully I can avoid more of these:
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| Welts from my own attempts at Double Unders, before "I" gave me a lesson about USING MY WRISTS. |
The always enthusiastic, helpful, and generally amazing owner of the box was there last night too. I never get to see "J" at the 6 AM class, so it was nice to get to talk to him a bit. As "I" was helping me with my squats (still lousy), he came over to offer some insight as well. At one point, I had one of them on either side of me immobilizing my feet and knees while I attempted to squat. All I could think when I caught my comical reflection in the steamy nighttime window was that I would have chosen a more flattering outfit had I known people would be paying so much attention to me. On a related note, the cute workout capris I purchased last fall are so big that I need to cinch them super tight to keep them on, which makes me look a little goofy.
After focusing on my balance and my ankle mobility, the men wondered if my hips are lacking in mobility as well. I had always assumed they were fine, since I had been trained in ballet for many years and have decent turn-out flexibility despite my inferior surgery riddled legs/feet. It became Painfully apparent when I tried the mobility exercises without turning out that I have approximately Zero flexibility in my hips as it pertains to doing squats. I'll be working on this before every workout from now on (and probably weeping).
"J" talked to me a bit before I left about their new fundamentals 'program' for new initiates to the box. It seems like a good idea, helping the more inexperienced people matriculate into the other classes with some background knowledge instead of sending them in cold. He also said that if I'm ever around in the evenings when the intro class is going on, I should feel free to work on anything I'd like extra help with, and he was generally very welcoming to having me around outside of my actual 'class' time. It is nice to feel like I can go in there and work on my 'bucket list' when I have the spare time. I'm still so delighted with my membership, and I know that even though it will be a little more driving, I'll still be going there after I move!
Now let's get into the feelings and thoughts and things for the past few days.
First, my good friend "A" contacted me this week and told me that she wants to lose 17lbs before her wedding at the end of April. I told her that I'm behind her 100% and would be delighted to be there for her for inspiration and tips or motivation and assistance. It's so amazing to me how much easier it is for me to do things for other people than it is to do things for myself. For instance, I did a 5 AM boot camp in the fall of 2011 with my friend "N", and literally the only reason I got out of bed at 4 AM to go run around outside was because I knew she wanted to go. I'd be very very unlikely to undertake that for my own sake!
Anyway, my friend was hoping her fiance would be joining the battle with her, and while he's on board to support her, she can tell that he's just not that into it. Being the type of woman who expects the very best at all times, she was pretty disappointed. I told her what a friend and I talked about this weekend:
The person you're with, isn't going to be everything you need all the time. It's foolish to think they'll fulfill your every need and desire, and it's not fair to expect your partner to be your perfect mate and best friend and a great father and wonderful lover and inspiration and intellectual antagonist and adventure side-kick.
Long story short, you're going to have needs that your partner just doesn't meet. Does that mean they're not The One? No, of course not. It simply means that the rest of your friends and relationships in life are more important. One person can't be your everything. So maybe they are your lover and soul mate and friend, but maybe your childhood friend is still the one that understands you best. Maybe your buddy from college still challenges the way you see the world and makes you feel smarter by talking to them. Maybe your sister is your inspiration to be a better person, maybe your coworker is the one that nags you into going to the gym.
Sometimes, it's not even another person. Maybe the one that's got to make you happy is you.
After talking to her about this briefly via text and the discussion I had with my friend over the weekend, I did some thinking about it yesterday. I'm the same way. I'm looking at my new boyfriend and wondering if he's right for me because we come from such different backgrounds. I'm afraid of making a wrong choice and falling in love with someone that can't be what I need.
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| Happy <3 |
Then I stop and think that even though we come from very different backgrounds, we managed to grow into similar people, and we get along remarkably well. And while sometimes we don't have anything to talk about, I am still excited to spend time with him, because I know we'll eventually make new memories together and have shared experiences we can draw upon. Even though he's not at the same stage in his life that I am in mine, I still think that I wouldn't trade a witty conversation or a set of washboard abs for the way it feels when he smiles at me.
I'm happy.
This was thrown into sharp relief last night as I worked out with "I", who I used to have the biggest crush on. It's hard to look at him sometimes, because he represents so many things that I always wanted. In fact, I think of him almost synonymous with the last man I really loved, "M", as they have some very specific things in common:
I've been attracted to the ones that can only be described as "Brilliant". Phrases like 'too bright to look upon', 'drawn like a moth to a flame', and 'all others pale in comparison' come to mind when I think of them. Here are some actual examples of their shiny, ultra impressive qualities:
-Started a company with his buddy 2 years ago, and it's worth nearly $1 Million to date.
-Exceptionally talented classical guitarist.
-Once stood in for Michael Buble.
-Dick DeVos reads his blog, and complimented him on it personally over lunch.
-Attended special school for smarty-pants kids.
-Lived in many countries/ can make himself understood and understand several languages.
-Both play hockey.
-Has sold his music (singing) after having it professionally recorded.
-MENSA member.
-Both super fit and ridiculously intelligent and witty.
Unfortunately, another trait they both possessed is that I always felt inferior around them.
Now days, I am surprised and delighted to find myself attracted and attached to someone from a very real place instead of just being in awe of him. While my past crushes were singularly awesome people, I'm sure that the easy confidence with which they could take my hand and give me a wink probably worked wonders on ALL the ladies, even those with much sterner hearts than mine.
I'll miss feeling special simply from having their smiles directed at me for a moment, but I discovered yesterday after watching "I" performing flawless Muscle Ups with a delighted grin oh his face that I'm genuinely happy to go home and watch WALL-E with my "A" and not worry at all, because I know that my hand is the only hand he wants, and that he prefers to make me feel special over all other women.
I think of "I" and "M" and everyone else that I've cared for in the past, and I think to myself that I got the better end of the deal. While I'm merely missing out on spending my efforts and feelings on people that don't want them, they are missing out on someone who has the capacity to bring something special into their lives, look up to them unconditionally, bolster their confidence, support their dreams, and soothe their rough edges.
When I think of "A", I realize that I'm getting back what I give, and that's really refreshing.
Why spend so much time posting about this in my fitness blog you may ask? It's because no matter how much I'd like to deny it, I know that my love life (or lack-thereof at times) is a major contributing factor to my mood. The trick I need to figure out is how to take things as they come and enjoy the moment. This is never harder to do than when I'm thinking about silly boys.
