Tonight after work Beef and I struck out for the gym for our first dual workout. We warmed up with 20 minutes on the elliptical and it was unique and fun how talkative she was and how the time went by much more quickly than when I suffer alone!
From there we did 3 sets of 12 seated dumbbell shoulder presses (I used 15lbs, Beef was 10). She has never really used free weights but she let me try to show her how to use them as the gym was swarmed by teenage sweaty boys.
From there Beef took the time to show me how to use some of her favorite machines including the hip abductor machine. It was another 3 sets of 12, this time at 150lbs of resistance.
After that we changed it up again and I showed her my favorite: Renegade Rows. I used the 12.5lbs and did 3 sets of 6 on each arm.
We didn't find the ab swing that my new Best Workout Buddy wanted to use, but we did see Pierre, who will be giving us our introductory training session on Tuesday. Before we cut out at 6:30 we did 3 last sets of 12 on the assisted pull up machine. The first two sets had 85 pounds of counterweight and the last set we used 100lbs as we were fatigued.
I'm just so glad that we did that. When we left I headed back to the lab to grade some student papers and I felt optimistic for the first time all week. I am so glad that the dark stressful shit show of my life seems to has brightened a bit.
This whole turning my life around and not being a lump thing seems to be going fairly well.
I guess the stability ball under my desk is going to be getting a work out too!
This morning at around 4 I woke myself with effort from a very bad nightmare. In the dream I was being chased and attacked by a large man who had only one goal: to murder me violently. I screamed and screamed for help but none of the neighbors could hear me and I resorted to fighting back with a lawn shovel (not to be confused with a snow shovel or rake, which proved to be ineffective against my giant nightmare attacker). I struck him and struck him, desperately hoping to knock him out with repeated blows to the head but he couldn't be stopped. It was only through forcing myself awake that I escaped.
I think I watch too much of the Investigation Discovery (ID) Channel.
There was no chance of returning to dreamland after that, so after lying in bed feeling depressed as an extension of the depressing evening I'd had the night before, I just got up. I put on gym clothes and walked out into the dark cold street. It was quiet and still and I was relieved that there wasn't more snow. The winter is crushing me every day and walking out into a morning that felt filled with potential instead of full of cursing exasperated drivers was a special treat.
Went to the new bargain gym and was glad to see that it's not all that busy in the early morning hours and I hopped onto an elliptical at a few minutes after six. 20 minutes later and I felt like the worst, most out of shape rube on the planet. My heart rate still hasn't settled down from the 190s where it shot to the instant I started moving. That can't be healthy at my age.
I serrepitiously scoped out the gym a little bit as I followed the instructions on the machine and watched the early morning weight lifters. I dreamed of all the exercises I'd like to go over there and do, but I was too timid. I'm looking forward to having Beef with me when we go after work tomorrow. I feel like at least if she's with me I won't chicken out as much. There's something to be said for having strong friends.
I made it to work, got cleaned up and dressed and breakfasted and sat down in my cube at 7 AM on the dot. One hour to go. I started grading some of my students' work from this week but then recalled how much I loved keeping up with my blog and figured the time was now.
As I munch now on a blood orange, I'm remembering why I was so bummed out yesterday. It was one of those times where I realized that if I'd just stuck with it a year ago, I'd probably already have reached some of my fitness goals. If only I hadn't given up and let the sadness and wretched desire to be still and quiet overcome me.
I wondered yesterday if settling into a happy comfortable relationship stole some of my drive. I certainly don't put in as much effort to looking nice as I used to (not that it was ever that much back when I was super depressed all the time). I don't eat as well as I'd like because I'm trying to feed a large carnivore who loves ice cream and isn't satisfied by my vegetable stir-fry proclivities.
I'm complacent.
Complacency has never been okay for me. I don't want to settle into a life, I want to strive for one.
Back to My Fitness Pal! Time to start paying attention again.
A dear friend of mine is getting married this summer. As such, she's hoping to be a bit more diligent about working out and eating better in the coming months than she's been for the past few years. There's always been a lingering desire between the two of us to be more proactive about our fitness, but we seem to stall constantly in our endeavors.
I've tried CrossFit (loved it, can't afford it) and a fancy deluxe gym (didn't love it, still couldn't afford it) as well as a very impressive arsenal of home fitness products/devices and intimate knowledge of tons of body weight workouts (can certainly afford it, but still don't do it).
My friend, Beef (an assumed name for identity purposes, obviously) has purchased yoga lessons and even has an elliptical in her basement. We both have stability balls at our desks which rarely get sat upon and our office yoga mats are dusty since we can't quite bring ourselves to abandon our computers during lunch hour and also are leery of the creeping eyes of coworkers who wander by when we're doing push ups in the break room.
Today we took the plunge together and joined one of those small bargain gyms which is located very near our office. I feel very optimistic that this will work better for us than the things we've tried independently before. There's lots of evidence asserting that working out with a partner is better for a myriad of reasons.
After the weekend I had where my depression flared up in a terrifying way causing a mini breakdown and left me unable to get off the floor/couch for an entire day, I know that it is time to start self-medicating again with exercise. Monday morning's raging yelling session at my frozen car really demonstrated that I'm sick of this winter and my cabin fever is getting manic. I need to do something.
Those that know me best and anyone who's followed this blog probably wonders why I keep trying new things "maybe this time it will work and I'll finally find the key to getting fit!!!!" They've/You've heard it all before from me. I've had more failures than successes.
Isn't there a proverb though that tells us to always get up one more time than we fall?
So here's another attempt at reaching my goals. Beef will help me stay accountable and for heaven's sake maybe I'll make it out of this winter alive.
