So Much To Say. So I Will!

I'll go ahead and warn you now that this is going to be a long one. I have been saving up lots of things to say for the past several days. I'll start with the fitness and work my way into more esoteric thoughts for the select few who are interested in the inner workings of my brain. 

I'm having ALL THE THOUGHTS

I would just like to begin by saying that my shoulders and chest are still sore from Monday's WOD. I know this is a good sign, it means I'm breaking down the muscle and it will build itself up stronger! Last night, since I didn't go to CrossFit yesterday, and was having absolutely horrid cake temptations, I took up a friend's challenge to do 1000 Sit Ups. As I did them I alternated with traditional Sit Ups and Reverse Sit Ups (Leg Levers). It took a lot out of me and nearly 90 minutes of my evening. That was fine though, since I had a long Bollywood movie playing the whole time and could hum along to the catchy music. After the Sit Ups, I did 150 band assisted Squats. My legs were disinterested in supporting me after the Sit Ups, so the band was really helpful. Wish I could stick the squats better though. They still aren't where I want them to be. 

Anyway, last night's adventure made this morning's WOD extra special. Here's what we did:


Warm Up:
8-10 Minutes
-250 Meter Row
-5 Farmers' Carry
1:00 Battle Ropes
-10 Lunges
-10 Squats

Skill:
Deadlift
5-3-3-3-3
I had a new Personal Record!!! 82lbs

WOD:
3-5-7-9-11-13-15-17-19-21
-Burpee Ball Slams (20lb)
-Toes to Bar (I did Knees to Elbows)

33:07


I was the last person to finish, as usual, going on over into the 7 AM class' time. I have no idea how everyone else finished so quickly! I wonder if they did the typical progression of 9-12-15 instead of 9-11-13-15. Otherwise I'm just stupidly, ridiculously slow, as I was a whole round behind everyone else. I thought Coach H was particularly precious in her choice to make the progression go up instead of down today. It was horrible. I did feel like I got a great workout though, and I managed not to hurt my back at all!


Now for some of the other talk.


This blog is not just about working out, it's also about my mental fitness. This quote from an article in the New Yorker (Which I heard in the Zeitgeist: Moving Forward movie) gave me a lot of food for thought at the time: 

"'It's all in the genes': an explanation for the way things are that does not threaten the way things are. Why should someone feel unhappy or engage in antisocial behavior when that person is living in the freest and most prosperous nation on earth? It can't be the system! There must be a flaw in the wiring somewhere."

Ever since beginning my Master's work in Project Dragonfly, I have been experiencing rapid leaps in thought. Whole new avenues have been opened in my mind, and I am thinking orders of magnitude more than I ever have before. A recurring thought is that if I could just understand a little more, then the big picture would all make sense. Food is connected to economics to politics to environmentalism to education to health to happiness. Everything is connected and I feel just short of 'getting it'.

Sadly, the more I am learning about the world, the more I'm seeing that it's flawed. So very, very flawed. (But hey, that's Nature, right?)  I see sadness and illness growing in the world where we all have so much and so many opportunities to not only make our own lives awesome, but to spread that benevolence to the less fortunate, raising them up to our level.

Why is that? I'm starting to think that it's because deep down, we know something is wrong. We're not doing what we need to be doing, not being who we really are as individuals, communities, nations, and as human beings. Maybe my depression isn't simply because of chemicals and hormones in my brain, but because I know the world is broken, and I don't know (yet) how to fix it. 


That leads me to my next topic: Inspiration. 


In the town I grew up in, there was a man called Dr. Aeneas Constantine. He was a world renowned scholar, traveler, collector, and physician. Everyone up North who ever met him can only say how very intelligent he was, how outstanding, how impressive his life was. He never stopped learning, and after his death, his home/clinic/observatory (with a legit HUGE telescope and dome ceiling) became a museum and learning center. Years and years later, the Historical Society is still trying to catalog his collection of first edition books. 

I want to be like him. I want to inspire people. I've come to love learning, and my only regret is that I didn't realize it sooner. I already feel like I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up. My opportunities to be a researcher or to study science more hard-core were left behind at my Liberal Arts college. I haven't been social enough to have gotten the courage to converse openly and critically with the few highly intellectual and inspiring people I've had the privilege to meet. 

If I could continue learning, and growing, and being a really great person and living my principles, I like to think that my life could be an inspiration to someone. I seriously dream of saving the world (when I'm not having one of my dark, frightened/frightening days). I want to fix problems. I want to go into politics, I want to be a scientist, I want to learn to play the game better than all the cheaters and cut-throat types so that I may WIN, and help solve issues that have been left to rot because they're not profitable, or don't benefit the right people. 


Now this leads me handily into my next point: school is back in session. 


I'm resisting my habit of being one of "those" people in my classes. Unfortunately, I suspect my writing style makes me sound less funny and more smarty-pantsish and superior in online learning communities like my Master's workshops. I'm super excited to begin my last year though. I'm very curious where they're going to send me for my field work, and I'm hoping to make the most of the experience and maybe write about it. 

Anyway, one of my classes is about leadership and the other is a workshop designed to get me published in a peer-reviewed journal, or other venue. I'm pretty nervous about this, but I see it as a great opportunity to create something and put it out into the world. Wouldn't that be sweet? I'm actually hoping to take the workshop in a new direction, and focus my efforts on maybe doing a TED talk instead of a standard journal publication.  

My work has focused on designing a business plan for small Michigan companies to A) Be more environmentally friendly. B) Benefit their communities. C) Attract (and keep) skilled labor to the state by offering amenities and incentives that inspire loyalty and happiness in workers. and D) Profit while doing these things. 

I think it could be a really great "Idea worth spreading" through TED. At the very least one of the local events would be nifty to present at!


Speaking of education, lets move on to my next discussion point: I WANT TO LEARN ALL THE THINGS. 

I shouldn't be so excited about this. 

I have a few text books arriving this week that are addressing one of my goals from earlier this month: Learn a skill, specifically, learn about muscles and functional movement. I got myself some books from the National  Strength and Conditioning Association and have been gleefully making flash cards of vocabulary from the first chapter in one of them the past few days. I really want to understand what I'm doing at CrossFit. I want to know which muscles are the counterbalance to which other muscles. I want to know what muscle is hurting in my rib area right now after all the Push Ups this week. 

This got me to thinking. If I continue on this path to a healthier and happier me, maybe someday I could help others do the same. If I get good at working out and understanding it, and if I can eat right and be healthy, if I can make myself happier... could I become a trainer? My "Soul Sister N", is a therapist (the mental health kind, not the physical kind) and also a personal trainer. She dreams of someday having her own practice where she uses a holistic approach to mental health, including exercise as well as counselling. I think that's so wonderful, and I sometimes daydream about helping her in her work. 


That brings up my final point: The Future


Lately I've been completely overcome with thoughts about the future. I feel like I've got something big in store for me. I'm bound for greater things than I'm doing now. The spring is always a time of transition for me, probably because my leases always run out in February/March, and I feel change in the air. I want to do so many things and I feel the tug of adventure. I want to ride off into the sunset and continue on the path to become Brilliant.  I hope that I can be amazing, and still be the type of person that is 100% there for people, and that I someday have the means and freedom to support any cause I choose, or begin any project, or finish any endeavor that I or my friends come up with.