Depression comes in waves.

Wouldn't you know it, I'm riding the struggle bus again today. Set my alarm for 5 and wore my workout clothes to bed last night in an effort to facilitate going to CrossFit this morning. Alas, the alarm was set to ring on Wednesday morning, not Tuesday. 

So that was lame. I once again have a ton of stuff to do today and I really wish things would have gotten off on the right foot. 

Accurate depiction of my day.

When I got to work though, I listened to some "Eye of the Tiger" and determined that I was going to make today a great day despite that and that I would work super hard and feel good about the things I DID accomplish today. 


Sometimes though, life makes it hard to keep things together. At my office, management laid off one of my coworkers. That is enough to put the fear of unemployment, poverty, uncertainty, and failure into a person. Now combine that with a disheartening email from a loved one and Voila! My good intentions fall to the wayside. 

On the upside though, I'm blessed with some truly miraculous friendships. J is always here for me and has the patience of a Saint. He talks me down from proverbial ledges almost daily. 

Today I had another friend on hand as well, one that I met through my Master's work. She sent me all sorts of helpful links for personal budgeting, and gave me good advice for some of my upcoming school assignments. Having a PLAN and resources to help me reach my goals are imperative for me feeling like I can cope with life's derailments. 

So I made a list of things I need to accomplish tonight and things that I would like to accomplish tonight. Must stick to the plan...

The Reason today is: So I don't need to pay to see a therapist about these issues. 

Here's hoping that when I get home later I find the wherewithal to do some crunches or something. I'll be embarrassed if I keep sucking at push ups too. I should probably attempt some. 

This website is helpful for that: http://hundredpushups.com/

Another thing that my school friend helped me with today is that she redirected me back to http://www.myfitnesspal.com . I used to faithfully log my exercise and diet, but then I started eating out a lot and got lazy. I'm glad to go back though, because on days when I totally screw myself over by sneaking candy from K's desk at work, I can see exactly how many minutes I have to spend on my jankety old garage sale find, the stationary bicycle. I learned early on that doughnuts are NOT worth an extra half-hour on the Medieval torture device known as a bicycle seat.